Study shows teaching a teen to drive is the best way to improve their prayer life
GENEVA – This week, an international panel of scholars released the results of a study examining a causal link between an improved prayer life and teaching a teenager to drive. The results are conclusive: parents who report a “mediocre-moderate” prayer life increase their prayer by more than 329% after the first leadership course.
“With a large sample size, multiple control groups, and double-blind methodology, we are confident we have demonstrated that anyone who teaches teenagers to drive will cry out to God for deliverance. reviewed ‘Quarterly Journal Of Prayer & Meditation’ – we even included atheists in the control group, and their prayer was in the 99th percentile when their teenager was checking the brakes on an open road or jumping the brakes completely when approaching traffic. a crowded crosswalk. “
Other researchers on the panel spoke to defend their evidence. French scholar Rion Jean-Rosé explained the reliability of their data: “Our hypothesis assumed that only truly ‘unconditional’ Christians like Baptists, Presbyterians and Reformed would see an increase in prayer, but this has been refuted – even Methodists, Unitarians, and catholics prayed more when their teenager let go of the clutch for the umpteenth time!”
At the time of publication, the study received wide acceptance from the academic community when the researchers involved added their evidence that parents of teenagers learning to drive with gearshifts completely lost their salvation.
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Satan held a press conference today in response to the great loss of Roe v. Wade. He does his best to hold his head high.